PT Boot Camp

I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend. The Zfam took advantage of the extended weekend to conduct PT boot camp...3 days of serious nonstop potty training. Rebecca did not leave the house or back yard for the entire 3 days. We had every intention of going to church Sunday, but when I woke up with a stomach bug, I decided to keep her home as well and not break the momentum, if there was any. Rebecca has been quite the reluctant "big girl". Here are some numbers that give a glimpse of how it's been going:

False alarms in one 90 minute period (Yes. I counted.).......... 23
Average number of seconds spent on the potty after "NEE GO POTTY!!!" is proclaimed...... 4
Number of times Mommy failed to react urgently to "NEE GO POTTY!!!" and regretted it..... 6
Songs made up to encourage normal bodily functions...... 2
MnMs given to reward normal bodily functions.......... 27, give or take
Potential savings on diapers if PT can be mastered..... $48.36/month

I think we made progress over the weekend, but today it's back to real life...errands, school pick ups/drop offs, volleyball games, etc. I'm not looking forward to the inevitable accidents and trips to public restrooms (YUCK!), but whata ya gonna do?

How about you? How did you spend the holiday weekend?

Bowing Down to the Bathroom Scale

I previously posted about reading in Jeremiah about idols and how today, idols take the form of addictions or obsessions. Well, for me Idol #1 is the number on the bathroom scale. I am absolutely obsessed with it. It is the first thing I look for upon waking and I let it determine what kind of day I'm going to have. I have a magic number and if I get on the scale and see this number then Woohoo!!!! It's a great day! If the number is within a pound or 2 of my goal then it's still a good day. If it's 3 -5 pounds above my goal then it's an anxious unsettled day and if the number creeps up more than 5 pounds beyond the magic number then it is a downright dark and ugly day. Isn't that crazy...to let a number dictate what kind of day I'm going to have? On those dark and ugly days, I'm disgusted and frustrated with myself which makes it difficult for me to be pleasant and patient with the people around me. Other than that, I didn't feel like my little obsession was hurting anyone. I just had to keep that number in the "acceptable range". But after reading Jeremiah, I realize I am a slave to the bathroom scale and I feel like God is leading me to break free from that bondage. I'm not exactly sure how to do that. I've had this habit for the past 10 years. Do I go cold turkey and never set foot on a scale again? This doesn't seem wise. Is monitoring my weight on a weekly basis okay in God's eyes? I just don't know. I do know it is going to be a struggle and I pray God will help me. Tomorrow, I will post about Idol #2, the counter part to Idol #1.

Sad Mommy

Yesterday we officially started potty training Rebecca. So far it is not going well. I'm trying to forgo the Pull-ups unless we are going out in public and because we had so many accidents yesterday we don't have any clean training panties. So today, she's just wearing a little dress and nothing underneath. So this is our conversation:

Rebecca: Need diaper.

Me: Diapers are for babies. You're a big girl!

Rebecca: Noooooooo! Becca need diaper.

Me: Rebecca, you're a big girl. Big girls go on the potty.

Rebecca: Nooooo. Don't liiiiiiiike it potty.

Me: Sweetie, you're a big girl now.


This is what I am saying to Rebecca, but my mind (or is it my heart) is screaming...Nooo! She is a baby! She's my baby! She is NOT a big girl. That's just crazy talk!!!

I'm not ready for my baby to be a big girl, but as I learned with Abigail, life doesn't wait for the mommies to be ready.

Tough Love

I received a bit of tough love in my Bible study Monday night...before the whole Lamentations distraction. I had just read the verses that our pastor referred to...

Jeremiah 1:5

⁵ "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

and

Jeremiah 29:11-13

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

both of which I love and find very encouraging, but while in the book of Jeremiah I found commentary on idolatry. My study Bible explains that despite Jeremiah's warning the people of Judah were not willing to give up their idols and even though today we may not bow down to statues we are often still guilty of idolatry. In the New Testament Paul said that greed is idolatry. The things people get greedy for--money, sex, status, food--can function as little gods, as addictions. When we feel depressed, we turn to them for comfort. When we're happy we give them credit. But this is the place for God in our lives.

I went to the verse that my study Bible referred to...

Ephesians 5:5

⁵For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

Ouch!!! I have a couple of things I'm obsessed with or maybe even addicted to. I think I just received a pretty blunt TXT MSG that says God wants me to get rid of these "idols". It's not going to be easy, but I have faith that He will help me.

I goofed!

Hi, a quick note from Kari's hubby to introduce today's post:
So, I am standing in our bathroom, shaving my dome as Kari steps in with a very unhappy expression on her face. This is not how she usually returns from her beloved body-pump class (she must love it. She gets up at 4am for it!). 'I goofed!' she exclaims and proceeds to tell me that, in spite of our pastor's warnings, she took a glimpse at the book of Lamentations after finishing Jeremiah. She has one of those study Bibles that summarizes the chapters and the overview about the book alone was enough to upset her. She may or may not give you more details below, but unless you're a Stephen King fan or your tastes tend to the gory, I would heed the pastors recommendation and stay away from it. Whoever is shaving in your bathroom will thank you for it.

Thank you, Chris. Now just a few clarifications: First, I don't love Body Pump. I actually hate lifting weights, but Body Pump makes in bearable. Second, I didn't finish the whole book of Jeremiah. I just finished my study time in it for last night. Third, our pastor didn't say stay away from Lamentations. He suggested that we put it off until a time when our hearts are prepared for it.

Well, my heart was NOT prepared for it. I didn't go there on purpose. I had been reading in the book of Jeremiah, which by the way is no picnic. (Jeremiah was a very reluctant prophet.) After reading the last verse our pastor recommended (Jeremiah 29: 11-13) and asking God to help me understand His plan for me, I just flipped to a page in Lamentations and read a boxed explanation of a verse that jumped out at me. What I read, was more disturbing than anything I have ever come across, inside or outside of the Bible. I wish I could get it out of my head. So, let me just say that I would highly recommend heeding our pastor's warning. I will NOT be going back to Lamentations until someone explains to me exactly how to prepare my heart for it.

Thank you Ms. Kris

It is with a heavy heart, that I sit here typing this morning. We found out yesterday that Rebecca's beloved Sunday School teacher, Ms. Kris, is very sick and in the ICU. On the way to church, Rebecca sat in the back seat happily babbling about getting to see Ms. Kris. When we went to drop her off, we were told the sad news. I had been dreading promotion Sunday in three weeks because it would mean that Rebecca would graduate out of Ms. Kris' room and into the preschool wing. I thought I would get a chance then to thank her, but it is very unlikely that she will be back by then. It is a terrible feeling to know that you have missed an opportunity to tell someone how much they have meant to you. I want Ms. Kris and all the other women in the HCC nursery to know what a blessing they have been to our whole family.


Dear Kris (and all the other wonderful women in the HCC nursery),

I would like to thank you all for the love and patience you have shown my little Rebecca. I know this is what you do for all the children and have been doing for years, but I would like to tell you why it has meant so much to our family. God made us wait a while for Rebecca. After a difficult and scary pregnancy, Rebecca was born 3 weeks early and weighing only 5 pounds 3 ounces...tiny but healthy. Praise God! The doctors and nurses kept a close eye on her, but even though she weighed barely as much as a sack of sugar, she was released to go home two days later.

Our first daughter weighed 8 1/2 pounds when she was born and has been in the 95th to 100th percentile for height and weight ever since. By contrast, Rebecca barely stays on the charts for weight. At 4 months of age she came down with a scary MSRA staph infection and at a year of age she was diagnosed with a life threatening tree nut allergy. To say we have been protective of her would be an understatement. When she turned two she had never been left with anyone outside our family. I felt it was time to start bringing her to church, but Chris and my mom had reservations because they knew Rebecca would have a difficult time being left. I worried about this myself, but I felt like it would be to her benefit in the long run. We started out with the Tuesday Mom's Bible Study. I prayed all the way to the church that first morning and when I handed her off to Ms. Eva, I was able to walk away knowing that she was in loving hands. After a few weeks, when Rebecca would happily talk about the sweet ladies who took care of her on Tuesday mornings, I knew my prayers had been answered.

The next step was to take her to church on Sunday morning. Because the Tuesday group is small and there aren't that many kids, I think Rebecca got a lot of extra attention when she needed it. Sundays are a whole different ballgame...lots and lots of kids. I wasn't sure how she would handle it. Rebecca was put in the squirrel classroom and it broke my heart to see her lip quivering, trying with all her might to fight back the tears when we handed her over. This is where Ms. Kris came in. That first Sunday, she held Rebecca and rocked her in the rocker. When we picked her up she told us how good she had been. She always welcomed Rebecca with open arms and it wasn't long before Rebecca was also excited about going to church on Sundays, as well as Tuesdays. Whenever we would pick Rebecca up from her classroom, Ms. Kris would tell us how sweet she was. She always made me feel like she really loved her. I want to tell her how blessed I feel to have had her in Rebecca's life. I want to tell her and the rest of the beautiful wonderful women in the HCC nursery how much you have all meant to me. Through you, my prayers were answered. Thank you for loving my baby girl.

God bless you all,

Kari

Playing Catch Up

I got a little behind last week. Not because I slacked off in my study time, but because I was not ready to move on or did not feel like I had anything to share. Today I'm going to try to catch up so that we can stay on track and begin with the major prophets tomorrow. So here is some of what I have gotten out of the wisdom books:

Job 1:20-22

²⁰ At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship ²¹ and said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

²² In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

I had a hard time reading Job, but I was encouraged to learn that God does not condemn doubt and despair. He does ask us to have faith during our trials and to trust Him. My study Bible gave this quote: "Do not forget in the darkness what you have learned in the light." I will always try to remember that suffering can be used for a higher good.

Psalm 18

¹ I love you, O LORD, my strength.

² The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

³ I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

The psalms are amazing and I plan to go back and spend a lot more time there. There is a psalm to match every mood and emotion, from joy to sorrow, from fear to contentment and so on. When I am struggling in my prayer life, I will pray the Psalms.

Proverbs 9:10

¹⁰ "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,
and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Would I sound like a drama queen if I said that this verse changed the way I live my life? A few months ago, our pastor gave an entire message on this verse. In this message, he said we should fear God's disappointment more than man's disapproval. That thought really struck me and I have been trying to live by it. When I felt like God put it on my heart to start this blog, my first reaction was: NO WAY!!! What if someone actually reads this and thinks I'm __________. (You can fill in the blank.) Then and many times since, when blogging or making other choices, I decided to worry more about disappointing God than what other people think of me. It's not easy, but I'm trying.

I will be spending a lot more time in the wisdom books and I will try to share future thoughts and insights, but tonight I will look forward to what Jeremiah has for me.

nada

Sesame Street is on. I have my cup of coffee, but I don't have anything to post about today. I'm still studying in the book of Job. I started to just jump ahead to Psalms last night so that I would have something to post about today, but I think that would be defeating the purpose of this exercise. I tend to have an obsessive personality...an all or nothing mentality. This is one of the numerous things I'm working on with God's help. There may be something in the book of Job that God really wants me to know. If I skip ahead just so that I can have a new blog post, I'm cheating Him and myself. So I'm not sure when or even if I'll have something from Psalms, but I'm going to let Him lead the way. I would like to invite anyone reading this to share their favorite Psalm and maybe what it means to you. I don't have a favorite yet, but I've heard there is good stuff in there and I'm looking forward to it.

Wonderland

Last night was Wonderland night for the Abster's school, so the Zfam loaded up, had a picnic in the park, got our hands stamped and headed into Wonderland. Since before I was even big enough to ride roller coasters, I have loved them. I can remember being a child and just itching for the day that my little head would come to the black line so that the ride attendant would give me the go-ahead. I have not outgrown my love of roller coasters and I was looking forward to at least a couple of rides last night. Once through the gate, Abigail immediately wanted to go find her friends, so I headed off with her while Chris and Rebecca stayed in the part with the rides for the little guys. It didn't take long for me to realize that the days of riding rides with Abigail are over, at least when her friends are around. Duh! So I spent the evening, wandering around the amusement park looking for my adventurous daughter. I stopped to chat with other parents from our school here and there, but mostly I was alone. I was also sad that I wasn't getting to watch Rebecca ride the boats, helicopters and merry-go-round, but I guess that's how it is when you have kids with big age differences. Just as I was thinking that my hand stamp was a complete waste, Chris and Rebecca showed up and the three of us rode the ski lift ride while Abigail waited in line for the Rattlesnake. After that, Abigail threw me a bone and rode the Himalaya with me and on the way out of the park, our little family of four rode the merry-go-round together. It was a nice evening, even though I never got to ride a roller coaster.

It was late before I got the girls to bed so I didn't get much Bible study done. I continued to read some in the book of Job and even though it is a very depressing story, I have found encouragement. I often get frustrated with myself because since I have been actively pursuing a relationship with God, I feel like I am on a continuous roller coaster ride. One day, I'll feel as though I'm floating on air and bursting with joy and then the next I'll be feeling inadequate and isolated. On the up days, I am thankful and praise God, but it is on those dark days that I find myself really leaning into Him and I think that is when our relationship grows. So, I am thankful for this roller coaster. Who needs Wonderland?

Mother's Day

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day. I did. Last week my sweet hubby asked me what I wanted for MD and I told him time and money. Ha! Couldn't we all use more of both? No, I told him I would like some new clothes and time (without a 2 year old) to shop for them. So yesterday, after church, Chris put Rebecca down for her nap, sent me off to the mall with good wishes and while I shopped he prepared an absolutely delicious dinner: grilled shrimp, grilled asparagus, and roasted corn on the cob. I found a couple of pairs of slacks at Express that fit really well, which is no easy task when you're built like me, and I was able to use a coupon that was about to expire. SCORE!!! I really actually hate shopping, but when I find something that fits and is a good deal, it's somewhat enjoyable. When I walked in the door after my successful shopping trip, the table was set and dinner was ready. My mom and dad joined us for a very nice meal. Abigail gave me some flowers and planted them in the backyard herself. Rebecca made me a card with her hand prints (always special) on it, at church. I could almost say that it was the perfect Mother's Day. The only reason I say almost is because before church, Rebecca got a spanking for willful disobedience and after dinner, Abigail got sent to her room for a lousy attitude...NOT how I would have chosen to begin and end the day, but I guess that is part of being a mom.

Yesterday, our pastor gave the message on what he called the wisdom books of the Bible. I joked about needing more time and money, but I would seriously have to add wisdom to the list of things I could use more of. In fact, I pray for it regularly and specifically for wisdom as a mother. I want to raise my daughters to be kind, compassionate, strong women with hearts for Jesus and I often feel like the world is fighting me at every turn. Our culture doesn't seem to value modesty, purity, service or other Godly attributes. It is up to me to train my daughters in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6) and I will need God's wisdom to do that.

Last night I studied in the book of Job and to be honest, it made me very uncomfortable. I feel like I have been blessed beyond what I deserve and to think about Satan telling God that the only reason I love Him is because I have been so blessed, gives me chills. If I were tested as Job was tested, would I pass? I would like to think that I would, but I don't know. I did not get very far into the book of Job, but it has already given me a lot to think about.

I know this is an abrupt way to end, but "Elmosover!"

Crazy May

Yawn. :0...It's 5am on Friday and I have so much to do today. May is always a crazy busy month when you have kids in school. It rivals December as the busiest mommy month. Here's what we've had going on: soccer practices, soccer games, soccer party, volleyball practice, creative writing practice, making/shopping for gifts for teacher appreciation week, Blue Sky night, selling Wonderland tickets... and here's what we've got coming up: school swim party at WT, UIL creative writing competition, Wonderland night, volleyball practices, volleyball games, school volunteer luncheon, PTA board luncheon, MDO registration... and I've only got ONE in school! I don't know how families with 3 or 4 do it. Anyway, now that I've wasted precious time venting about not having enough time...

Last night I did manage to keep my eyes open long enough to do some studying in 1 Samuel.

1 Samuel 8:6-7

⁶ But when they said, "Give us a king to lead us," this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the LORD. ⁷ And the LORD told him: "Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king.

Our pastor spoke about this passage being a message to encourage us when we share Christ with someone and are rejected. I have always been the kind of person that avoids rejection like the plague. I won't even offer someone a piece of gum if I think they will say no. (Silly. I know. We're working on it.) So the thought of sharing something so precious as the love of Jesus with someone and being rejected makes me shudder. Even sharing in this blog is taking me way out of my comfort zone, but at least if I'm being rejected, it's not happening to my face. I'm sure one day I will feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit to share with someone in person and when that day comes and I am rejected, I will find comfort in the words God spoke to Samuel.

1 Samuel 16:7

⁷ But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Of course, the message here is to not judge a book by it's cover. If we've heard it once, we've heard it a hundred times, but I know I am still guilty of this way too often...something else to work on.

1 Samuel 17:37

³⁷ The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine."
Saul said to David, "Go, and the LORD be with you."

More encouragement for scaredy cats... I need all I can get.

I better go get busy.

Oh, those heavy lids

Once again, I had to fight to keep my eyelids open and once again my eyelids won, so I did not get very far into 1 Samuel. I did, however, finish reading the book of Ruth that I started Tuesday night, but did not finish due to the aforementioned eyelid war. So instead of jumping into 1 Samuel unprepared, I thought I would just share a couple of things that I have learned and what I have been reflecting on since I started this a little less than 2 weeks ago. The Bible is a love story. Over and over, I have read about God's love for His people despite the fact that His people repeatedly let Him down. Yes, at times there were grave consequences, but what loving father does not let his children occasionally suffer the consequences for poor choices in order to teach a lesson. I have also learned that God's love was not reserved for just His chosen people. He showed great love for Hagar, Sarah's Egyptian handmaiden, and Ruth from Moab. In the Old Testament, God may have concentrated his attention on the Israelites, but I think His goal was for others to see the blessings that come from following the one true God. My hope is that I will live my life in a way that shows others the blessings that come from following Him.

Friends

Last night I studied in the book of Ruth, which is a beautiful story about friendship...

Ruth 1:16-17

¹⁶ But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. ¹⁷ Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."

God uses our friends to fill many needs in our lives. Through a mom's Bible study at my church, God put a group of amazing women in my life. I cannot even begin to explain all that I have gained from the time I spent with these other moms. I have been inspired by their stories. I've benefited from their wisdom and been encouraged after confessing spiritual struggles of my own. The most incredible thing is that God used this group of women to bring me closer to Him.

Yesterday, I was feeling discouraged and overwhelmed. I prayed about it throughout the day. In the afternoon, I went to a friend's house to work on some PTA stuff. She helped me with some posters that I needed for our Wonderland fundraiser. I am terrible at that kind of thing, but my friend whipped out a couple of posters and they look great! While working together, we had a wonderful conversation. I was so incredibly blessed by the time I got to spend with her. When I left her house, I was no longer feeling discouraged or overwhelmed. Thank you, God, for answering my prayer.

Darkest book of the Bible

Judges 2:16-17

¹⁶ Then the LORD raised up judges, ^a]">[a] who saved them out of the hands of these raiders. ¹⁷ Yet they would not listen to their judges but prostituted themselves to other gods and worshiped them. Unlike their fathers, they quickly turned from the way in which their fathers had walked, the way of obedience to the LORD's commands.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and discouraged this morning. I'm praying through it and hope to be back tomorrow.

Scaredy Cat

I have always been a cautious person (euphemism for scaredy cat), never one to risk life, limb or humiliation. But I have always been impressed with others who demonstrate bravery. When I was 13 my mom joined the Dallas police academy. At the time, I thought it was pretty neat because I didn't know any other kids whose moms were cops, but now I look back and marvel at the courage it must have taken for a 5 foot 4 inch stay-at-home mom in her mid thirties to join a bunch of big young guys in their 20s and endure the rigors of the boot camp-like police academy. And then after making it through the academy, she had to do the really scary stuff that we civilians don't appreciate nearly enough. My mom worked nights and when I think about the suspicious drivers she had to pull over, the dark alleys and empty buildings she had to search then I am in awe of her bravery. I don't think I could ever do any of those things.

Last night I read in the first chapter in the book of Joshua and to be honest the message God has for us in this verse scares me...

Joshua 1:6-9

⁶ "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. ⁷ Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. ⁸ Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Three times in three verses, God tells us to be strong and courageous. This scares me because one is not usually told to be courageous unless there is something to fear. So I worry about what it is that I am going to need strength and courage to face, but in these verses we also find the messages that we should spend time in the Word every day and that God will be with us wherever we go. So I will try to read my Bible every day, do my best to obey His Word and pray that when I am afraid, He will give me the strength and courage this scaredy cat needs.

Dizzy

I'm home from church and my head is spinning. It was week 2 in the series TXT MSG, where our pastor is going through each book of the Bible and pointing out specific verses and the message that God has for us in those verses. Our pastor blew through the history books, Joshua - Nehemiah, in what seemed like 10 minutes, but I guess it was more like 30...time really flies when you're enjoying a message. I was taking notes just as fast as my hand could write. Our pastor gave us a lot of historical background that I found fascinating, but I probably won't be able to get into that here. I will try to focus on the verses that he singled out and what we can take from those verses today, but I reserve the right to get sidetracked because our pastor reiterated that his goal for this series is for people to spend time in the Word...learning, meditating, listening. Last week was really amazing and I believe that God revealed a few things to me personally. I'm still digesting what he revealed about my accountability. I would love to get started in the book of Joshua, but first I get to go watch the Abster and her teammates play their last indoor soccer game of this season. Her daddy is coaching and I really hope they have a great game before we have our soccer party at Gattitown. Go Mustangs!!!

A little bit of accountability

The first week of April, I came down with a chest cold that turned into bronchitis that turned into pneumonia. I wasn't able to run or go to the gym for 3 weeks so I was getting to sleep till 6am every morning. Sleeping-in is very addictive and so this week when I was finally back to the point where I could run, I just couldn't make myself get out of bed to do it. Yesterday my running buddy, Sharon called to see how I was feeling. I told her I was feeling well, but that I just couldn't make myself get up this past week. She encouraged me to meet her and the rest of the group to run this morning and I agreed. When my alarm went off at 4:30 this morning, I wanted to just shut it off like I had every other running day this past week, but this time people were expecting me so I dragged my weary bones out of bed and met my group to run.

It has been the same with my Bible study this past week. There have been evenings that I would have preferred to flip through a magazine or just hit the pillow, but because I have told you that I would post here about my study time, I felt accountable and made myself do it anyway. Last night, I read in the book of Deuteronomy and this was the message...

Deuteronomy 6:4-7

⁴ Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. ⁵ Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

These are very well known verses and at first I didn't feel like I had anything to add, but when I was getting dressed to run this morning and thinking about the difference a little bit of accountability makes it occurred to me that God is probably asking why I don't feel the same accountability to Him. Whoa. That thought hit me like a ton of bricks. God expects me to spend time in His Word and to set aside a quiet time for prayer, so why do I not feel that same sense of accountability? When you love someone, you invest time in the relationship and make an effort to meet their expectations. I know that I love God, but if I am going to love Him with all my heart, soul and strength I need to realize that I am accountable for investing the time to nurture the relationship and make myself do it even on the days when I don't feel like it or would rather be doing something else.

JESUS WUVS ME

Rebecca and I were in Target this morning, our fourth stop on my long list of errands. I was pushing her in the basket and she was singing Jesus Loves Me at the top of her lungs. If you know Rebecca, you know that she hates attention...good attention, bad attention... it doesn't matter. She hates it. But there she was singing "JESUS WUVS ME...DIS I NOOOOOO FU WU BIBLE TES ME SOOOOO..." I guess she just wanted everyone to know.

28675349718364

Good morning. It's 5am and here I am at my computer and unfortunately I don't even have a cup of coffee. My sweet hubby makes the coffee, but that doesn't usually happen till 7:30 or later. I don't have the luxury of waiting till Sesame St. time to post today because I have a morning jam packed with errands... Walmart, Target, Office Max, Abigail's school and many more.

Anyway, without the benefit of caffeine, here we go. Last night I studied in the book of Numbers. At this point, I can barely read my notes from Sunday's message. I was writing so fast and furiously and I ran out of room on my bulletin. What I read in my Bible last night was actually very sad. The Israelites had been wandering in the desert for 40 years and they were finally on the border of the promised land and they lost faith. They complained that it would have been better to die in Egypt as slaves. This angered God and he denied access into the promised land to all but two, Joshua and Caleb. Even Moses, who was so loyal to God for so many years, faltered and as a result died in the desert.

Numbers 20:12

¹² But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."

Our pastor said the message here is that God has no favorites when disciplining disobedience.

I also have something in my notes about the grasshopper mentality...

Numbers 13:33

³³ We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

I actually had to google that one and I found an interesting article on Overcoming The Grasshopper Mentality. Basically, If we want to seize what God has promised us, we must conquer our giants.

So what did I come away with after my study time? Don't lose faith and trust that God will keep his promises. I will cling to that when I face my own giants.

Finally, I want to leave you with this prayer...

Numbers 6:24-26

²⁴ " ' "The LORD bless you
and keep you;

²⁵ the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;

²⁶ the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace." '